


Does this count as a Sex Shop AU?

by OmniscientProstitute



Category: Parapines - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, M/M, Minor Pacifica Northwest/Mabel Pines, The meet in a sex-shop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-25
Updated: 2017-02-16
Packaged: 2018-09-19 21:14:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9460673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OmniscientProstitute/pseuds/OmniscientProstitute
Summary: Mabel wanted to get Pacifica a little something extra for her birthday, so she drags Dipper into a sex shop where an attractive man works.





	1. Chapter 1

When Mabel asked Dipper to go with her to get Pacifica a birthday gift for her twenty-first birthday, he had expected a two hour mall excursion. Mabel would drag him through a series of clothing and fragrance stores asking him how this skirt looked or what he thought about this smell. Then they would double back to a store they had already been too, so his sister could pick up that one cocktail dress with the purple and pink rhinestones. Dipper would drop his sister off at her apartment before returning home to play videogames in his boxers. That was how the evening had started out, but then they decided to stop for a coffee and Mabel had spotted the sex store across the street. It was called The Dog House, and had windows obstructed by purple lights illuminating deals on lingerie and adult videos. When Mabel had said something about looking for something “a little extra” in there, Dipper went beat red, because he was about to know more about his sister’s sex life than he ever wanted to. 

Mabel waltzed into the store as if it were nothing, ignoring the racks of adult videos, shelves of lube, and wall of sex toys in order to head to the back corner where corsets and garters were displayed on a table. Mabel immediately began sorting through the corsets for something pink or sparkly. Dipper didn’t know what to do. Unlike in other stores, where Dipper would wander around to look for something for himself, Dipper did not want to appear like he wanted to be here. Especially when only a yard away was a display of vibraters designed specifically for prostate stimulation. “Can I help you with anything?” The deep voice startled Dipper, and his head whipped around to find a very tall man, with even taller hair, covered in tattoos and piercings gazing at the twins. His name tag read Norman, and Dipper quickly avoided eye-contact.

“Oh yes!” Mabel’s loud voice caused Dipper to cringe. “My girlfriend’s twenty-first birthday is tomorrow, and I wanted to pick up something pink and sexy for her.” 

Norman nodded, “All the clothing we have is back here; although, we got a new shipment of corsets in yesterday. Give me one second and I’ll check the back.” Out of the corner of his eye Dipper watched Norman turn around and walk to a grey door in the back of the store. He watched the man’s ass as he walked away only to jump when his sister held a large flesh colored dildo in his face.

“What the fuck Mabel?”

“I saw that.” She placed the object back on the pile she found it in. “He’s cute.”

“He works in a sex shop.” Dipper responded, keeping his voice low. Mabel made an unimpressed face.

“He could hook you up.” Dipper felt his face twist into mild disgust. Mabel laughed going back to sorting through the corsets. “I mean you haven’t dated anybody in a year; you could use something.”

“I really don’t want to talk about this with you.” Dipper pulled his phone out and scrolled through his emails. Mabel, as well as his other friends, had been bringing up the dating thing a lot. He had never really dated. When he was younger running around trying to solve mysteries interested him more than girls did, then high school came along with boatloads of homework. He managed a few dates during his four years of college, but nothing had stuck. Jenna, Derek, Mackenzie, Andrea, they had all gone on one date maybe two before declaring the relationship a dud. Dipper didn't want to admit that the series of rejections had dropped his self-esteem, but it had definitely made him stop trying. 

Mabel squealed when Norman came out of the stock room with an armful of pink packages. He gave her the pile to sort through before turning his electric blue eyes on Dipper. “Did you need anything.”

“No.” Dipper was impressed by his laidback tone. He expected his answer to come out as a yelp. Mabel spun around and displayed a baby pink chevron brazier with fabric that hung down, and a matching thong.

“What do you think?”

Dipper recoiled from the question, “It fits Pacifica’s style.”

“Do you think she’d look good in it?”

“I don’t know she’s your girlfriend!” Mabel rolled her eyes and turned her attention to Norman.

“What do you think?”

“Well, it’s one of the cheaper designs from the company, but the fabric is decent so it shouldn’t rip easily. A few days ago my sister came in and bought something similar; she had raving reviews.”

“See Dipper, that was helpful. Thank you.” Mabel carried the garments to the checkout counter, leaving Dipper to trail behind her with his hands in the air.

“He works here!” Norman smirked, and a low rumbling chuckle escaped from his chest. “I’m sorry I feel weird picking out personal items for your girlfriend.” Norman was full on smiling as he printed Mabel’s receipt.

“I just need you to sign here, saying that you understand we have a no return policy.”

“We shouldn’t need to.” Dipper rolled his eyes turning towards the door and missing the name and number Mabel wrote on the receipt she returned to Norman. “Come on Dipper, I need to go home and wrap Pacifica’s gifts.”

\-------------one week later-------------

The warmth of Dipper’s coffee was the only thing motivating him to complete his Business Law study guide. This was his last set of finals in his entire college career, but none of that would matter if he failed this final. “Oh my God.” Dipper moaned as his hand cramped in the middle of the question he was answering. He sat back to stretch his hand when his phone went off. An unknown number flashed across his screen momentarily. Deciding he could spare a few minutes to investigate, Dipper unlocked his phone. 

[xxx xxx-xxxx] “Dipper?”

[Dipper] “Yes, who is this?”

[xxx xxx-xxxx] “Norman, from the sex shop.” Dipper dropped his phone onto the table, flinching from the thunk that sounded from the plastic of his case hitting wood. With a deep breath Dipper composed the most put together message he could muster.

[Dipper] “What’s up?”, before sending a frantic text to Mabel.

[Dipper] “What did you do?”

[Mabel] “You’re going to have to be more specific.”

[Dipper] “You gave the dude from the sex shop my number!”

[Mabel] “Oh yeah! He finally texted you?!” Dipper ignored his sister’s text in order to look at Norman’s.

[Norman] “I was wondering if you would like to go to dinner with me.” Dipper clamped his mouth shut as he internally screamed. He was going to kill Mabel.

[Dipper] “Would next week work? I have finals this week.”

[Norman] “Sure, text me when you have a date that works.”

\------------One Week Later------------

Two changes of pants and five discarded shirts later, Dipper stood in front of the bathroom mirror trying to decide if he should wear his hat. He would feel more comfortable in it, but hats weren't exactly date accessories. His hair wasn't doing the thing, but a strong gust of wind could mess everything up easily. A knock on the door to his apartment startled Dipper, making him yelp. Leaving his hat on the counter, Dipper opened the door to find Norman leaning casually against the doorframe. He seemed to have more piercings than Dipper remembered. “Uhh, come in. I just need to grab my wallet.” With Norman standing in his kitchen looking like what his mom would consider a bad decision in black skinny jeans and a red shirt, Dipper raced to his bedroom to grab his wallet off his wardrobe. He was glad that his roommate, Coraline, had to work late and wasn't there to make things awkward. Dipper took a deep breath before exiting his room. There was really no reason to worry. They were going to a sports bar. It would be casual like hanging out with any of his other friends, except Norman was not the type of person Dipper would normally hang out with. 

The walk down to Norman’s car was filled with silence. The awkward kind that filled the voids of conversations between two people who met at a sex shop. Dipper flushed thinking about the shopping trip with his sister. “Mines the black Civic.” Norman steered Dipper to the correct car and opened the passenger door for him. Once they were both buckled in and on their way to dinner, Norman lowered the radio which was playing a rock station Dipper wasn't familiar with and began making conversation. “How did finals go?”

“Oh, fine. I think I passed all of them.” Dipper turned his head so he was looking in Norman’s direction. “Accounting was the worst out of all of them.” 

Norman nodded, “I went to school for a few years. I was going to be a film major, but then I realized that I could learn everything I needed to from experience so I dropped out.”

“Do you still do film?”

“Yeah, my friend and I have a freelance film company I do in my free time. It doesn't exactly pay the bills, but it's something.” There was a small silence as Norman took a turn. “What are you going to do with accounting?”

“Take over my great-uncle’s business.” Norman cocked an eyebrow. “He runs a tourist trap in a place called Gravity Falls, Oregon. My sister and I used to go there every summer, and my uncle doesn't trust somebody outside of the family to take over the business so I offered to help. It's small enough that I should be able to handle everything off site.” 

“It's good that you already have connections.”

“Yeah. I mean it's not what I want to do but it's a start.” They settled into an amicable silence. The deep vocals from the radio washed over Dipper, and despite the energy from the music he felt himself relaxing. The lull in conversation lasted until they were seated in the restaurant. They were at a tall two person table, tucked against a window and away from the bar. “I've never been here before, what do you recommend?”

“The chicken is good, but a little messy.” Norman set his menu down. “I’m going to order a ham BLT.”

“I will try the chicken then.” The restaurant had a homey atmosphere. Dipper found himself staring at Norman without feeling self-conscious about the other people near them. His past dates had preferred more fancy and expensive places that often required reservations and a tie. This was almost the complete opposite of that, if Norman’s rolled up sleeves held any indication.

“So besides studying to be a businessman, what do you like to do?” 

“I like to solve mysteries.” Norman’s blue eyes widened in intrigue. Dipper hoped that was a good thing. “It was something my sister and I did a lot when we were younger. We would run around forest trying to look for Sasquatch or ghosts. I guess it never really grew out of it.”

“I did similar stuff with my best friend Neil.” Norman’s eyes lit up in remembrance. “I was convinced that my grandma haunted my house. To be honest, I haven't grown out of it either. I still have zombie posters all over my apartment.”

A warm excitement washed over Dipper; he realized it was hope. He liked Norman despite their awkward meeting and his atypical appearance. He wanted to continue to hang out with Norman and learn more about the man. Dipper new his face was slightly flushed, but he couldn't care with this happiness intoxicating him.

“How was your sister’s girlfriend’s birthday?” Dipper furrowed his brow at Norman's question. 

“Oh, Pacifica turned twenty-one last week. It was good. My sister and I turned twenty-one last year, so we were in charge. I didn't help much; I'm kind of a light weight.” 

Norman chuckled, “Where'd you take her?”

“Study hall.” It was a bar just off campus that regularly hosted musicians and karaoke nights. “We didn't want to go too far.”

“Take a cab home?” 

Dipper nodded, “The three of us were a mess.”

“I think for my twenty-first birthday, I invited a few people over and we just drank in my apartment. Of course that was four years ago, when Study Hall had crappy beer.”

“So you're twenty-five?” Dipper knew he was staring wide eyed at Norman. He knew it was making Norman uncomfortable, but he couldn't stop. The age difference was hot. 

“Yeah, is that to big of a gap? I probably should have told you before asking you out to dinner.”

“No, no. I don't mind. It's actually kind of hot.” Dipper felt his face heat up. 

“Weren't you the guy who couldn't look me in the eye when we first met?”

“Shut up! This is completely different!” 

Norman laughed holding his hands up in surrender. “Alright, if you say so.” Dipper thanked God when the waitress came with their food. Eating meant an excuse for silence, and a way for Dipper to collect himself. He recognized that every bite of food he took brought the end of their date closer, something he didn't want to happen.

“I know you said your roommate would be out for the night, but we could go back to my apartment and not worry about it.” Norman was tearing a long fry into smaller pieces. “I have a complete X-Files collect, and some of the best popcorn you've ever tasted.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I dedicate this chapter to zero_kun, because I would not have written it unless they asked for it.  
> I'm sorry it took so long.  
> I'm sorry it's short.  
> I hope you enjoy it.

Dipper wasn’t sure what to think about Norman. The way he smoothly took their bill from the waitress when Dipper wasn’t paying attention suggested that he was completely comfortable and in control. But, the hard stop they had to make because Norman almost missed a red light argued that Norman was at least a little bit effected. The guy worked at a sex shop; he had to be a little bit experienced. A definition Dipper definitely didn’t fall under. Dipper wondered how many people Norman had brought back to his apartment. Then he realized he was going to Norman’s apartment, and it was only the first date. He quickly recalled their conversation. Neither male had said anything overtly suggestive outside of the age thing, and that hadn’t stemmed from a sexual place. Norman had said something about X-Files and popcorn; Dipper didn’t think that was code for anything. “Are you allergic to cats?” Dipper blinked realizing that they were pulling into the parking lot of a small apartment building. “I probably should have asked you that before inviting you over.”

“It's fine, I'm not allergic to cats.”

“Good.”

\-----------------

Norman’s apartment was at the end of the hall on the second floor. It was one of the larger units with two rooms separated from the kitchenette living room. Norman hadn’t lied about the zombie posters except they were framed movie posters of White Zombie and Night of the Living Dead. “Do you want to change into some sweatpants?”

“Sure.” Dipper followed Norman down the short hall which had a bathroom, an office, and a bedroom branching from it. When Norman turned the light on in his bedroom a black cat stood on the top of his dresser staring back at them.

“That's Aggie. She's normally really sweet, but sometimes she can be a brat.” Norman began digging through the bottom drawer in his dresser; Dipper took that time to analyze the drawings covering the walls. He was drawn in by a rudimentary sketch of a monster that seemed to be half woman half bear. “Oh, those are old character ideas.” Norman held a pair of black sweatpants out from Dipper. “Most of them are from high school and not worth paying any attention to.”

“I doubt that.”

“You can change in the bathroom down the hall.” Dipper took his time changing. He felt confused, like he was no longer on a date with Norman just hanging out with a friend. It wasn't a bad thing. Dipper felt more relaxed than he ever had on a date, but that was because it didn't feel like one. Had Dipper turned Norman off somehow? He thought they had connected. He slid his own pants off as he heard Norman pass the bathroom mumbling to his cat about not climbing on things. 

Dipper exited the bathroom to find Norman digging through one of his cabinets. “Do you want anything to drink? I have orange juice, vodka, rum, and whisky.”

“Do you have Coke to go with that rum?”

“I do.” Norman pulled the rum out along with two glasses. “You can put your jeans on one of the bar stools. Do you prefer more rum or more Coke?”

“More Coke. I'm a lightweight remember?”

“That's right. I hope it's okay that this is a little informal.” Norman gave Dipper his drink with an a lopsided smile. “I always feel like first dates are over-rated. People going to restaurants nobody can afford, wearing clothes they're not comfortable in, and pretending to be someone they're not in order to impress someone they barely know. I want to date somebody I know I can bro down with too.” 

“I get what you mean. I went on a date with a girl named Jenna once, my only date with her by the way, and the bill cost me so much that I had to live off one loaf of bread and a jar of peanut butter for two weeks so I could pay off the credit card bill.”

“See! That is way too much investment for something that may not produce a sequel. We're about to watch the best TV show that has ever existed, and I'm going to enjoy doing that more than eating overpriced salad with you at a dimly lit restaurant.” Norman lead Dipper to the black futon that took up most of his living room. “I mean if you want to go to a fancy restaurant for our second date I'll be the first person to go buy a tie.”

“I’d rather get drunk while watching X-Files.” 

Norman burst out laughing as he pulled a black box off the top of his bookshelf. “Which season do you want to watch?”

“We have to start at the beginning!”

“Alright.” 

Watching X-Files quickly turned into talking with X-Files on in the background. They made it fifteen minutes into episode three before they began arguing about the existence of aliens. Both agreed that aliens existed, but Norman didn't think they would ever see Earth as a necessary planet to visit. “What good does it do to establish yourself as a god of a planet then never return to that planet?”

“They did return to the planet! How do you explain Egyptian, Grecian, and Norse mythology.”

“They needed to explain things but, they didn't have science!”

“How do you explain the artifacts that say that the stones Stonehenge were walked?”

“They “walked” them. Archeologists have already explained this! You can't claim aliens come to Earth using evidence that you were to lazy to research.”

“Says the guy who thinks ghosts exist.”

“You agreed with me that ghosts exist!”

“Oh yeah.”

“Oh yeah.” Norman mocked. “I'm going to make popcorn.”

\------------------

Dipper hadn't intended to fall asleep at Norman’s apartment. When they were still up talking at one o’clock in the morning, Dipper figured he'd ask Norman to drive him home around two. That would give them an hour to wrap up their conversation. They didn't make it to one thirty. 

A loud screeching ring yanked Dipper out of his slumber. He was slumped against Norman with drool trailing out of his mouth. The horrible yelling came again and Dipper scrambled half blind with sleep to his pants. “Hello?” He whispered, awake enough to keep his voice down so as not to wake up Norman. 

“Where the fuck are you?” Coraline’s loud voice made Dipper flinch.

“I'm at Norman’s.” A glance at the clock on the stove let Norman know it was a quarter past noon. “I was going to come home around two but we fell asleep.”

“Were you being safe?”

“We watched X-Files and talked.” 

“Right.” Coraline’s tone was teasing. “Well, I have nothing to do today so I'll see you when you get back.”

“Great.” Dipper hung up and tucked his phone into the pocket of the sweatpants he was wearing.

“Is everything okay?” Norman had his eyes closed and his hands in the air.

“My roommate was worried about me.”

“I don't think I've stayed up that late in years.”

“College.” Dipper started falling back into his spot next to Norman. “Although, that was always due to procrastination.”

“I was always filming in the morning. That's the only time the streets were open.”

“How many times were the cops called on you because you were filming in the middle of a street?”

“Only a few times.” Norman yawned. “I'm gonna’ make pancakes you want some?”

“Yeah. Except waffles are better.”

\-----------

Dipper threw open the door to his apartment knowing that he looked bad. His hair was smoothed flat on side from where he rested his head on Norman's shoulder. His nice shirt was rumpled worse than if it had been left in a pile on the floor. His belt wasn't buckled completely. He looked like a mess. Coral one didn't say anything as she watched Dipper disappear into his room. He looked like he needed a good hour of sleep, then Caroline was going to tease him until she figured out what X-Files and Popcorn stood for.


End file.
